Friday, February 22, 2008

A day in the life of a schizophrenic superhero

Jack's not just any superhero, he's ALL superheroes. At the same time.

Here he is about 10 minutes after he used his superpowers to leap a tall building (or Daddy's armoire) to get to his Bat-tools (or Daddy's binoculars and multitool), and then was banished by his nemesis, Penguin (or Mommy, who is already starting to waddle), to his Bat-room to read his Bat-books: He's seriously asleep. In the middle of his toys and books. With the light on. At 10 am.
Mommy: 1, JackEBoy: 0.

And here's his reaction when super-mommy told him he did not have to put on his C.lark K.ent/B.ruce W.ayne disguise (aka--normal clothes) to run errands:

Tie Game--Mommy: 1, JackEBoy: 1

Today's errands included Mommy having a signature notarized, during which Super-Bat explained to the receptionist at great length that he does not, in fact, *kill* bad guys, he only beats them up and puts them in jail. Can you tell we've rehearsed that conversation?

Jack: "I gon' kiw dem"

Mommy: "Jack, we don't kill people"

Jack: "But I wike to kiw doze bad guys"

Mommy: "Only bad guys kill. Superheroes are good guys, they just put the bad guys in jail so they can't hurt anyone else"

Jack: "Ok, firs' I will beat dem up, den I will put dem in jail"

Mommy, "Close enough."

Next, a trip to Tar-jhay for new play shoes for Jack. His were hand-me-downs from Noah and unanimously decided to fall apart completely in one day. So, I told him we were going to pick out some shoes. His reply: "And den we can wook at toys? Jus' wook, not buy dem." Again, can you tell we've had this conversation before? He saw some S.tar W.ars things in the dollar bins as we walked in and said, "Ah, my good! Noah wuvs dat! Do you got some moneys?" ("Ah, my good!" is his version of "oh my goodness"--he says this a lot and it cracks me up every time!) Then, as I was returning the cart to the corral, Jack was still sitting in it, and not showing any interest in helping me extricate him from the seat (me with my big belly and all, needing all the help I can get), so I said, nonchalantly, "Okay, I'll see you later" to which he replied, without missing a beat, and equally as nonchalantly, "Okay, but you'll be bery sorry". That Jack!

And at the end of the day, super-Jack decides that law enforcement is a better option than jail-time for "kiwing bad guys". He requested I take this picture of his "cute alphabet"...I think he meant "outfit"...


Sarah said...

Love the picture of Jack asleep in his "super" gear!

Michael and Hannah said...

You do a great job of describing Jack's personality... he's ALL boy!!! So cute! God keeps giving you boys for a reason! It takes a special mom to let superheroes run errands sans alias attire!

Michael and Hannah said...

By the way... love the fancy new blog format. And that ultrasound photo of Little Boy Blue is AMAZING!!! I've never seen a 4-D ultrasound of anyone I've actually known. He actually LOOKS like you guys! He has your husband's mouth! Absolutely AMAZING!!!!

Jeanne said...

Melanie, you're hilarious...and, of course, Jack, too! I absolutely loved this blog. Yes, it does describe little Jack perfectly. He is an entertaining boy...

S. said...

sounds like you guys are quite entertained at your house! i love reading about jack's personality...too cute.