Thursday, July 30, 2009

He's into the details...

*****Oops! The first link was totally wrong, but is fixed now. Blogging 101: Check your links before you post!!*****

First, read this wonderful post about how God is into the details of our lives. The comments are full of stories of how this is SO true. And then you should read Amanda's hilarious spin on God being into the details for her :-) I snorted when I read it, but you really have to read the first (serious) post first.

After I read the original post, I thought something along the lines of, "Yeah, he's just not that into my details right now." I knew that wasn't true, but I've been feeling sorry for myself lately. There's really no good reason for my attitude (is there ever??) but I think it's the end-of-the-summer overwhelm-ed-ness. I'm feeling guilty for all the things I didn't get to this summer with the kids, all of the playdates we did not make happen, all of the situations in which I did NOT handle myself with grace and patience {that's putting it SO nicely...I was U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah-yeah, you ugly}, etc, etc, etc... {"MommyGuilt"}

And this week has been VBS. I "taught" the 2 year olds, who were wonderful and cute and busy and playful and darling. But something didn't sit right all week. I couldn't get motivated with them. I just wanted to run away. And then it hit me Tuesday night that this was the class Ruby would have been in. These were supposed to be her little buddies. And she was not there. I don't always feel the void so tangibly, but I did this week.

I let myself be sad, cried a while, and felt much better. Somehow I just needed to recognize what was going on with me to be able to get over it. Wednesday night I had a much better attitude and was excited about the last night. {It might have helped that my big 3 had been with Memaw all day...ya think?!}

And God saw fit to send a precious little girl named Kin to our class that night. She had not been there the other nights. Her mama was at church to help translate for a group of refugees from Burma who were at VBS this week. That is a whole other post, but let me just say that being in the presence of souls who are hearing about our Mighty God and Sweet Savior for *the first time* is a pretty powerful thing. {Possibly the biggest understatement ever.}

So this darling little Kin came to class, bringing some {additional} spunk to our little class {of 16 two-year-olds}. We glued cheerios to a picture of a mouth as we learned to thank God who made our mouths and sang "O Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say". Kin preferred eating the cheerios {and who can blame her?}. She was here and there and everywhere, just enjoying herself wherever she went. I loved every minute of watching her be her busy little self.

And then all of a sudden, she was done with the busy-ness. Her little brown eyes turned toward the door and the tears began to flow. I picked her up, assuring her that her mommy would be back soon, and LOOK! Snacktime! But she was done. I held her like I do my one-year old, Luke, and gently laid her head down on my shoulder, just like I do him. But he usually pops his head right back up and wants down. She did not. She laid her sweet head down and fell fast asleep.

And for the rest of the night, I got to hold this darling little sleeping 2 year old ball of life, while I felt my wounded heart heal with every sweet sleepy breath. "He's into the details..."

Monday, July 27, 2009

Praying for Stellan

Updated: Stellan is stable now, doing much better for now, pumped full of drugs to keep his heart beating well. *Probably* moving to Boston soon to *probably* have another surgery that will almost certainly damage his heart and cause him to need a pacemaker for life. Please continue to pray!
Prayers for Stellan

Please pray this morning for Stellan. He is not doing well at all. Mckmama's last "tweets" have said: "I almost can't bring myself to write with more bad news. Stellan is hanging in there, but is deteriorating. It's not good. Dr B is here on the floor, but off conferencing with other cardiologists. He will come back to the bedside shortly & we'll conference. Can I reiterate that these last many hours have not been good!? Stellan is no longer urinating, his Potassium is up, he is still in SVT, very swollen & at midnight he began incessant vomiting."