Thursday, August 30, 2007

Glory Baby

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going…But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”--John 14:1-4; 26-27

With so many people in urgent need of prayers right now, I hesitate to ask for them for our family. Not because God's too busy, but because I don't want to push anyone else off your personal prayer list. But I'm asking anyway...we are entering the one-year anniversary of the worst week of our lives. I apologize to all the "laborers" of the world, but Labor Day will always only be about Ruby for me. That Friday was the last day I was sure I felt her kick. Saturday was a blur, at home getting things done around the house. Then at church Sunday morning, I spent all of class and worship wondering what was wrong. We drove to BG as soon as church was over and I spent the next 36 hours trying to will little Ruby to wake up and kick, and slowly coming to grips with the reality I did not want to face. Back to Nashville Monday (Labor Day) evening, then on to Vanderbilt to confirm the awful news. Our Ruby Anne was gone. 24 weeks growing strong...and then nothing. She was born into our arms on Wednesday, September 6, 2006, at 4:33 pm. One pound, 12 inches, dark hair, tiny fingernails. We spent 6 precious hours cuddling the tent that would have been her. Sunday, September 10, we buried our daughter.
It feels just as real today as it did then. We've healed a lot in the year since she died, but this week the pain is all flooding back. Jared was so strong in protecting me and our family, through prayer, from Satan's attempts to use that time to divide us. We grew so much as a couple and as a family in the months following, in great part because of his constant prayer for us, especially for the weeks (months?) I could not put together a coherent thought, much less a prayer. Please pray that God will continue to protect us from Satan's attacks on us and division in our family. Pray that He will draw us close and that we (I) will not push Him away as I grieve all over again.
"Glory Baby, You slipped away as fast as we could say baby, baby,
You were growing, what happened, Dear? You disappeared on us baby, baby
Heaven will hold you before we do,
Heaven will keep you safe
until we're home with you, until we're home with you

We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
So, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you, til Mom and Dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do,
You'll just have heaven before we do…

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it 'cause we're hurting,
we are hurting...But there is healing
and we know we're stronger people through the growing
and in knowing...All things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would,
just like He said He would

But we miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
So, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you, til Mom and Dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
Yes, you'll just have heaven before we do…

And I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing Heaven is your home and it's all you'll ever know
Baby, it’s all you'll ever know, all you’ll ever know…

We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
I can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
So, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you, til Mom and Dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
Yes, you'll just have heaven before we do,
You’ll just have heaven before we do..."
--"Glory Baby" by Watermark

4 comments:

Dana said...

I'm so sorry you had to experience this terrible loss. I'm grateful for the way God cares for us when we're hurting and carries us through. I look forward to meeting Ruby when we all get home someday. Hang in there.

Deaton, party of 5 said...

I'm glad that you have found strength and healing through all of this. I remember this weekend too b/c you were due a few weeks after my pregnancy with Miles. My heart broke when I heard the news. You're in my thoughts this weekend, and we serve such a good God who will make everything right one day soon!

Amy said...

I've been thinking of you and little Ruby quite often as Labor Day approaches. I remember it was just last year when we sat around talking about our new little ones at the class reunion. My prayers are with you often and especially now.

Lydia's Mom said...

We love you and our grieving with you, but rejoice in knowing that the Lord WILL continue to comfort you all and are praying special prayers for you this week that His strength will hold you tight.