It just had to be said

"Please don't put your brother's toes in your mouth."

"Please quit saying the word 'hookers' over and over. It's called a 'hook'."

"No, you cannot throw that wrapper out the window."

"No, the police will not send your brother to jail for littering, but he might get a ticket."

"No, not a ticket to the movies, a ticket that says you have to pay $50 to the police."

"No, you do not get a Nintendo DS from the police when you give them $50. You just give them your money to help you remember not to throw trash out the window again."

"No it is not too cold to play outside! It's June!"

"Please don't wipe that on me."

"Yes, that cheese does make you look like you have a mustache."

"Please don't put your feet above your head."

Everyday blessings

It's been a pretty normal week around here, thankfully. Other than an ear infection for Noah and Luke trying to cut teeth, it's pretty much status quo. Normal being, you know, this: ...and this:

...and then there was this:

...and how can I forget this?

Whew! We are plum tuckered out from all the normal around here!

WHEN DID THIS BECOME MY NORMAL??!!

Semi-annual mini-van clean-out

**I had already posted this when Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer set up a "What's in Your Car?" carnival**

1 Sonic bag containing misc trash

3 binders (Jared)

4 Bibles (1 Madeline, 1 Jared, 2 Melanie)

1 bag of Target returns

4 purses (3 Melanie, 1 Madeline)

1 pair unopened soccer socks (season ended this week)

5 various lipbalms

2 cassettes

1 coupon for 99cent Sonic onion rings

1 Mother's Day card from Madeline

286 papers from Bible class

3 backpacks (ALL Jack)

1 First Aid kit

1 Doodle Pirate (unopened)

4 chewed lollipop sticks

1/2 bottle of water

1 Chewbacca (Star Wars) sports bottle

1 empty Kool-Aid koolers bottle

1 granola bar wrapper

6 EMPTY Walmart sacks (in various locations)

2 Sonic tater tot boxes (empty)

1 Wendy's nugget box (empty)

various activity/coloring/reading books

42 Goldfish (in various states of crush-ed-ness)

37 pieces of popcorn from Target

2 lunchboxes (fortunately empty--Jack)

1 pair flip-flops (Melanie)

1 Superman cape (Jack)

1 shoe (Noah)

4 socks (none matching--Jack and Noah)

1 umbrella

3 cars

1 broken flashlight

2 unopened trial size tubes of toothpaste

2 bouncy balls

3 NEW sticky spots on floorboards

APPROXIMATELY 742,000,000 crumbs/paper particles/crushed leaves

Yep, everything is completely under control. If only we had just ONE MORE kid...

(Please send help now. Or a masseuse. Or a maid. Really, it's up to you.)

"Busted"

Jack took a pretty hard fall in the driveway this afternoon. He didn't cry, but I could tell it hurt. I asked him if he was okay, and he said, "Yeah, but I am BUSTED!" As we cleaned, medicated and bandaided his wounds, he kept saying, "Whoa, those knees are BUSTED!" or "Whoa, those hands are BUSTED!" I'm pretty sure he knows how funny he is.

Creepy Crawlies

We've hit the creepy crawly jackpot this spring. We brought the baby carrier/carseat home from Memaw and Grandaddy's garage and it was full of caterpillars! Noah is in little boy heaven. I especially like the one on the left, with the turquoise color. Noah names all of his caterpillars "Callie"...you know, like "callipillar"? Jack names his "Carl". I think we have the same 4 or 5 caterpillars that are discovered and then returned to the grass day after day.

And speaking of creepy crawlies, Noah caught three "houseflies" today with his bare hands. We're so proud.

Boys

Sometimes they do this...(if they're upright, we consider it hugging and not fighting)

They usually carry these... And then other times, they find a piece of paper on the floor, wad it up, stick it under their arm and suck their thumb...
(Okay, for the record, only Jack does that!)

Strep

I was just telling Aunt Maggie how thankful I was (and still am) that we had fared pretty well this flu season and all been pretty healthy.

So it only makes sense that today poor Madeline woke up with strep. And in case I have fooled you into believing I am a decent mother and my life is all snow cream and hot chocolate, let me just say that I sent her to school. Yes, her throat hurt and I did nothing but check her forehead (with my hand, not a thermometer or anything), declare she did not have a fever, give her motrin for the discomfort, and send her on to school.

It took less than 30 minutes for her to convince the sub that she needed to go see Nurse Beth, her new best friend. Now, we had a spell recently where Madeline went to Nurse Beth daily complaining of her ear hurting. It was obviously nothing, because we never got a note home about it, and she never mentioned her ear hurting to me AT ALL. We finally did get a note home saying Madeline was coming in almost daily, so maybe we should take her to the doctor. I mentioned this option to Madeline, and she immediately asked if there would be a shot involved. I might have told her that that was a good possibility. Miraculously, the mysterious ear pain stopped. Amazing. Noah had also been complaining about his ear hurting, but only on days when he had music...we finally learned he was scared of the wolf from "Peter and the Wolf". Seriously. We have issues.

So Nurse Beth called at about 8:15 saying that Madeline did not have fever, but did have very swollen and red tonsils and I probably should have her checked for strep, since apparently this year, strep does not include a fever. So I called the pediatrician's office and they said to come on in. I had failed to mention the part about "they're going to stick a swab on the back of your throat that's already sore to check for strep". She was not pleased. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But reason finally prevailed. Then my 64 pound baby girl curled up in my lap as we waited for results. The rapid test was positive, so then I felt like I should explain to my pediatrician why any decent mother would send her child to school, at this time of year, if her throat hurt. But I was too busy keeping Jack from eating his Cheerios off the floor. Because it's one thing to eat Cheerios off OUR floor, where the dirt and grime may be days weeks months old, but at least it is generally related to us. It's a whole 'nother ballgame to eat Cheerios off the floor at the doctors' office, where the dirt and grime are much fresher, but also totally unrelated to us.

So, no school today or tomorrow for her. After a trip to Sonic, because we are fancy, to get a chocolate milkshake for her (she was sure that would help A LOT) and 2 bags of ice for me, a luxury (at $1.29 a bag) I only afford myself when I'm pregnant and crave crunchable ice, (and maybe also a 99cent b/c it was before 10 am diet Dr Pepper, also for me) things looked a little better. For all of us. And if the talk of Sonic has made you thirsty, don't forget the 1/2 price drinks and slushes from 2p-4p everyday. That's my public service announcement for today.

That, and also: Don't drink peppermint tea you made for your daughter whose throat was sore but you thought it was nothing and she didn't like the tea, so you just finished it yourself because, really, who would let a hot cup of peppermint tea go to waste? I probably should start the antibiotics now, huh?