First of all, it is not true that all of the things I'm listing have actually happened in the last 72 hours because I cannot remember anything AT ALL that happened before that.
So, wouldn't you agree that a fourth time mom (technically 5th, but she's already been successfully mothered!) would know better than to leave Valentine's chocolates within reach of the 8 month old super-stealthy crawler/puller-upper/cruiser/climber who has just this week discovered that he really, really likes to eat (other than mommy's milk)? Of course she would! That's why I so did not let Luke get a foil-wrapped Spiderman chocolate off the couch (because what responsible parent leaves chocolate on the couch? NOT ME!) and put the entire thing in his mouth. He then did not sit perfectly still, in awe of the awesomeness that was in his mouth, while said non-existent chocolate melted and oozed out of the foil until nothing was left except the foil. His Memaw was not at all the only adult in the house paying attention and did most certainly not alert said fourth-time mom to the fact that her baby was eating chocolate. I did not then walk over, sweep the foil from his little slobbery mouth, and proceed to thank God that he did not swallow the foil. Surely I did not then giggle for the rest of the day at the fact that he LOVED the chocolate and that it was a pretty cute and fitting, although accidental, Valentine's gift to him!
And of course I took this as a reminder to be more cautious about things left around that he could put in his mouth, because AS SOON AS we got home from Memaw's, I did not put Luke down on the floor while I unloaded the Valentine's loot, only to have him crawl back to me 2 minutes later with an orange mouth, reeking of Dorito! Because you should know by now that I am not the kind of mother who would have missed the fact that Noah was eating Doritos earlier in the den (because my children always obey and always only eat in the kitchen!), leaving pieces on the floor. So, to sum up this Valentine's Day, the baby was not introduced to 2 different categories of junk food! Not in this house!!
Jared did (really!) take Madeline to a father/daughter Valentine's dance on Friday night. Afterwards, he let her choose a restaurant for dinner and she chose a seafood place named after a colorful crustacean. However, the Friday before Valentine's Day meant a 50 minute wait at 7:30 pm, so they opted for a different restaurant which she also likes. She was disappointed, but handled it well. Sooo... when Noah ended up spending the night with a friend on Sunday and Memaw offered to take Madeline and Jack for the night, we did not wait until after dropping off said children to go eat at that same seafood place named after a colorful crustacean with only the baby in tow. Without mentioning it to the big kids, of course. We are not that mean!
While mopping this week (I know, I know, shock and awe that I was mopping!)--Swiffering, actually--I didn't even let Luke chase the mop around because it helped dry the floor faster while also providing him
And on Sunday night at church, I did not willingly confess to Valerie, after Luke dropped his paci on the floor and she returned it to me, that I frequently put toys back in the diaper bag that have fallen on the floor with the express purpose of appearing to have some modicum of decency, when in reality, I totally plan to pull it back out for them in a few minutes without cleaning it. I would not do such a thing NOR would I admit to it if I did!
I sure am glad none of THAT happened to me this week!
*many small children
**I don't really know her but I have her blog in Google Reader, and I may or may not be