Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday (or Tuesday, whatever)

Time once again for "Not Me!" Monday, courtesy of the coolest mother of MSC* that I know**, the one and only MckMama! Please jump on over there, share some of your own insanity honesty, and then allow me to not confess share some of the events of our week...

First of all, it is not true that all of the things I'm listing have actually happened in the last 72 hours because I cannot remember anything AT ALL that happened before that.

So, wouldn't you agree that a fourth time mom (technically 5th, but
she's already been successfully mothered!) would know better than to leave Valentine's chocolates within reach of the 8 month old super-stealthy crawler/puller-upper/cruiser/climber who has just this week discovered that he really, really likes to eat (other than mommy's milk)? Of course she would! That's why I so did not let Luke get a foil-wrapped Spiderman chocolate off the couch (because what responsible parent leaves chocolate on the couch? NOT ME!) and put the entire thing in his mouth. He then did not sit perfectly still, in awe of the awesomeness that was in his mouth, while said non-existent chocolate melted and oozed out of the foil until nothing was left except the foil. His Memaw was not at all the only adult in the house paying attention and did most certainly not alert said fourth-time mom to the fact that her baby was eating chocolate. I did not then walk over, sweep the foil from his little slobbery mouth, and proceed to thank God that he did not swallow the foil. Surely I did not then giggle for the rest of the day at the fact that he LOVED the chocolate and that it was a pretty cute and fitting, although accidental, Valentine's gift to him!

And of course I took this as a reminder to be more cautious about things left around that he could put in his mouth, because AS SOON AS we got home from Memaw's, I did not put Luke down on the floor while I unloaded the Valentine's loot, only to have him crawl back to me 2 minutes later with an orange mouth, reeking of Dorito! Because you should know by now that I am not the kind of mother who would have missed the fact that Noah was eating Doritos earlier in the den (because my children always obey and always only eat in the kitchen!), leaving pieces on the floor. So, to sum up this Valentine's Day, the baby was not introduced to 2 different categories of junk food! Not in this house!!

Jared did (really!) take Madeline to a father/daughter Valentine's dance on Friday night. Afterwards, he let her choose a restaurant for dinner and she chose a seafood place named after a colorful crustacean. However, the Friday before Valentine's Day meant a 50 minute wait at 7:30 pm, so they opted for a different restaurant which she also likes. She was disappointed, but handled it well. Sooo... when Noah ended up spending the night with a friend on Sunday and Memaw offered to take Madeline and Jack for the night, we did not wait until after dropping off said children to go eat at that same seafood place named after a colorful crustacean with only the baby in tow. Without mentioning it to the big kids, of course. We are not that mean!

While mopping this week (I know, I know, shock and awe that I was mopping!)--Swiffering, actually--I didn't even let Luke chase the mop around because it helped dry the floor faster while also providing him hours minutes of giggle-inducing entertainment!

And on Sunday night at church, I did not willingly confess to
Valerie, after Luke dropped his paci on the floor and she returned it to me, that I frequently put toys back in the diaper bag that have fallen on the floor with the express purpose of appearing to have some modicum of decency, when in reality, I totally plan to pull it back out for them in a few minutes without cleaning it. I would not do such a thing NOR would I admit to it if I did!

I sure am glad none of THAT happened to me this week!

*many small children
**I don't really know her but I have her blog in Google Reader, and I may or may not be a stalker capable of winning a MckMama blog trivia contest were such a thing to exist


Jeanne said...

Oh this is funny! I can just see that fat little face with melting, oozing chocolate in his little sweet mouth...sitting there thinking, "Mommy, why haven't you told me about chocolate???"

You've got to laugh at all this stuff! It's one of the things that makes raising 4 children fun and keeps you sane!

I loved the part about Luke "not" following the mop around and helping to dry the floor. Hilarious!!!

I love you!

Jeanne said...

Oh, p.s.: I like the new blog design!

Laura B. said...

That is so funny and refreshing! My one year old enjoys Cheetos more than anything other food, but of course we would never have such an unhealthy food at our house!

Laura (Easley) Barnes

Rebecca Louise. said...

This is just - brilliant! Makes u feel more human! xxx.

Erin Sowards said...

Oh Melanie! Hannah has been on me to read her blog more often and I clicked over to your's. I just love it--and YOU! I laughed so hard about the paci/toy on the floor thing--I will totally put even dropped (un-licked) candy into my pocket only to whip it out as soon as whoever is watching is no longer watching! If introduced germs makes kids stronger than mine are totally invincible!!!