A day in the life of a schizophrenic superhero

Jack's not just any superhero, he's ALL superheroes. At the same time.

Here he is about 10 minutes after he used his superpowers to leap a tall building (or Daddy's armoire) to get to his Bat-tools (or Daddy's binoculars and multitool), and then was banished by his nemesis, Penguin (or Mommy, who is already starting to waddle), to his Bat-room to read his Bat-books: He's seriously asleep. In the middle of his toys and books. With the light on. At 10 am.
Mommy: 1, JackEBoy: 0.

And here's his reaction when super-mommy told him he did not have to put on his C.lark K.ent/B.ruce W.ayne disguise (aka--normal clothes) to run errands:

Tie Game--Mommy: 1, JackEBoy: 1

Today's errands included Mommy having a signature notarized, during which Super-Bat explained to the receptionist at great length that he does not, in fact, *kill* bad guys, he only beats them up and puts them in jail. Can you tell we've rehearsed that conversation?

Jack: "I gon' kiw dem"

Mommy: "Jack, we don't kill people"

Jack: "But I wike to kiw doze bad guys"

Mommy: "Only bad guys kill. Superheroes are good guys, they just put the bad guys in jail so they can't hurt anyone else"

Jack: "Ok, firs' I will beat dem up, den I will put dem in jail"

Mommy, "Close enough."

Next, a trip to Tar-jhay for new play shoes for Jack. His were hand-me-downs from Noah and unanimously decided to fall apart completely in one day. So, I told him we were going to pick out some shoes. His reply: "And den we can wook at toys? Jus' wook, not buy dem." Again, can you tell we've had this conversation before? He saw some S.tar W.ars things in the dollar bins as we walked in and said, "Ah, my good! Noah wuvs dat! Do you got some moneys?" ("Ah, my good!" is his version of "oh my goodness"--he says this a lot and it cracks me up every time!) Then, as I was returning the cart to the corral, Jack was still sitting in it, and not showing any interest in helping me extricate him from the seat (me with my big belly and all, needing all the help I can get), so I said, nonchalantly, "Okay, I'll see you later" to which he replied, without missing a beat, and equally as nonchalantly, "Okay, but you'll be bery sorry". That Jack!

And at the end of the day, super-Jack decides that law enforcement is a better option than jail-time for "kiwing bad guys". He requested I take this picture of his "cute alphabet"...I think he meant "outfit"...

Super-Noah!

Noah's had a rough few weeks of school...yes, kindergarten. I know, I know. It's kindergarten. He had a GREAT first semester, but after Christmas, the sugar-high just didn't go away. Or something like that. Anyway, after many beatings threats encouragements from us, he seems to have had a better week this week. Meaning instead of "playing with his supplies and not doing his work, fidgeting with things, talking to others, or getting started and then drifting off" (actual quote from his teacher), he did his super-tough, hard-core Kindergarten work. Seriously, we are very proud of our super-buddy!!

Ballerina

Like most of her friends, Madeline is Han.nah Mon.tana crazy. She's only seen about 4 episodes, and never actually heard her music other than that. But still. It's required. So I'm always relieved to realize she's not nearly as grown-up as she would like to think she is. I really just wanted a picture to document how cute Madeline looked in the school outfit she put together herself.

And because I got those tights on clearance at Tar-jhay and she had previously thrown fits about how they bother her feet because they are not footless. I was thrilled to see her putting that $1.99 to good use.

And also because she requested that I fix her hair, and then requested a BOW, of all things! And a pink one at that! Lately she's been insisting on doing her own hair (even though the back is not always as thoroughly brushed as I would like it!). And it has been a LONG time since she *wanted* a bow. That's not to say she hasn't *worn* some bows, but they've been against her will, because I'm just not ready to completely give up that part of her childhood.

She's had a bow in since the day of her birth when the kind nurses KY-jellied a bow on her head...

And how could I NOT include the quintessential (I'm not really sure what that means, but it seemed appropriate, at least in my head) Maddy-bow-picture...
Today, as soon as the camera came out, she felt the urge to show me the "ballet moves" she learned in ballet 2 years ago. She is currently deciding between ballet, softball, and soccer for the spring. She has never played soccer this year, but the thought of BOTH boys being able to play soccer this spring suddenly inspired her. We'll see how that goes!

I love my big girl, especially when she reminds me that some part of her is still just a little girl!

He dressed himself...

Noah the builder

More of Madeline's photography skills at work...the tower:

The knockdown...

The rebuild...

I'm telling you, if you don't have some of these cardboard blocks, you are missing out. Even L.ego-maniac Noah enjoys the "big blocks" still. Especially great for the build-knockdown-rebuild because they can be built tall and don't hurt when they crash down on your head! Go getcha some here!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm all pictured-out after my marathon-posting the last few days...

But Jack is still keeping me in stitches. This afternoon he was playing outside when the garbage truck came by. I know he's seen it before, but you would think we were at Dis.neyworld! He just kept yelling, "THAT is AWESOME!!" over and over. It's the little things, folks. Let's be thankful today for all the special people in our lives, even the garbage men (or sanitation workers, or whatever it's politically correct to call them)!

His daddy's child...

Jack got some m&ms for Valentines day and sat at the table to eat them. When I checked on him, I found him with them lined up according to color. For such a random kid, he is my little Mr. Organization. His daddy is SO proud! Once he saw I had the camera (can you tell he's getting used to it in his face lately?), he insisted on showing me how a pteradactyl eats his food...

More snow pics...

As expected, the snow melted fairly quickly, but before it did, we got a decent amount on the ground. Not enough for snow cream :( but enough to make some very shallow snow angels!

In case you ever need to know the difference, THIS is a snow *angel*......and THIS, obviously, is a snow *Batman*. Glad we cleared that up!
And, as I'm sure you can clearly see, these are monster tracks, which, if spotted, require you to immediately flee the vicinity, squealing in delight/terror...

Let it snow!

Because I'm so jealous of Hannah's beach pictures from *yesterday*, I'm posting pictures from here this morning. Jack's still drinking his "warm cocoa" and my fingers are still a little numb.

I ran just inside the door of the house to turn on the news and make sure our schools weren't out...maybe 30 seconds that he was actually out of my sight, and I came out in time to see him on his hands and knees on the front walk, licking the snow. When he saw me, he jumped up and started saying, "Ooh, yuck. We don't lick snow!" It appears that some of us DO.

Jack said, "I'm just gonna sit right here until the snow stops." He lasted about 2 seconds...and it's still snowing. Not exactly a blizzard, I'm sure it will be melted within the hour, but it was fun while it lasted! It's the best we've had so far this season, so we figured we'd better play while we could. Unfortunately, it started JUST as we were loading up the big kids for school, so they got to walk from the car line to school in it, but that was it. All the schools around us are closed, but being "metro" and having no real rural areas in our district, our schools are still open (woo-hoo!). Hope you're enjoying the weather wherever you are! :)

Now back to the JackE show...

One of Mom's friends (who reads but doesn't comment...ahem...JS) says, everytime she sees a picture of or hears a story about Jack, "That Jack needs his own reality show!" I couldn't agree more! I'm still mad at myself that I didn't submit my kitchen floor to Op.rah or Rac.hael Ray or someone to get a kitchen makeover! But here's a shirt I found at WM on clearance for $5. He has NO idea what it means, but it appears he got the gist of it...what a ham!


Could the boy be any cuter? Or any more full of himself?? Or look any shaggier only one day after a haircut? I think we'll go somewhere else next time! Or look more like Noah in that first picture? Okay, enough rhetorical questions for one post...

Crazy Jack & Mommy

This is what happens when Jack gets to tell me what to do.

This is also a lot of why my house is a wreck. Oh well.

"Take a picture of bof of us." "Now be surprised"
"Now yell real woud"
"Now 'tend you're so sad"
"Now be happy!""Now do your tongue wike dis"
"Now do Old Macdonald kiss" [you say "ee-ii-ee-ii-o", hold the "o", and then kiss: the ending to our nightly rendition of "Old Macdonald"--usually followed by a "nananana-nananana-Batman" kiss, a growling dinosaur kiss, a duck kiss, etc, etc, etc]

Fruits and Veggies

In case the ultrasound pictures weren't enough baby news for you, here are the recent updates (courtesy of Bab.ycenter) to the fruit/vegetable baby growth...I know you were all waiting on the edges of your comfy computer chairs...

Week 22: spaghetti squash Week 23: large mango

Week 24: ear of corn

Little Boy Blue

First of all, EVERYTHING IS FINE, but he "wasn't kicking right" this morning (my first pregnancy freak-out, so I think I'm doing pretty well, considering), so we rushed to the dr's office for an ultrasound because my dr was in surgery, so we couldn't just do a doppler-check, which is really all I wanted. Jared met Batman (seriously, we ran out the door so fast that I didn't even make him change out of his costume, which was on over his pajamas still...and he only had one sock on, but did manage to get his shoes on) and me at the dr's office and we got in pretty quickly. The ultrasound tech was very calm, explaining that she needed to check my cervix first...then this is your placenta, then BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, while I was screaming (inside) JUST SHOW ME THE HEARTBEAT!!!!! She finally got around to it and of course it was fine. The cord had good blood flow (we suspected there was a cord problem with Ruby), everything looked good.


So, the good news from this is that we got a cool 4D picture of the baby! Last time they tried, but he wouldn't ever get in a good position. Madeline was SO excited to see this pictures because it actually looks like a real baby. She kept saying, "Noah, can you believe our new brother is sooooo cute?!" So here's little Roscoe P. Smalling:

My Valentine

**The longest post ever...if not longer. But worth it because my husband rocks!**

If Jared had bet me $100 yesterday that he would have Madeline *asking* to try peanut butter, pepperoni and cheese TOGETHER on a saltine, I would have absolutely taken him up on it. There's NO way. She's not THE pickiest eater ever, but she definitely does NOT have an adventurous palate. And, until today, she doesn't like pepperoni. Or her foods mixed together.

And yet, somehow, he made it happen. I was in the bed feeling pretty lousy (lousy enough to send everyone to church without me, which is rare). Jared and the kids had just gotten home from church. I had thought if I just rested the first hour they were gone, I would feel up to fixing some very minor lunch by the time they got back. But I did not. And due to my poor household management, we had no bread, no milk, no macaroni & cheese, no fast and easy meals. And no more "eat out" money until the 15th. But I was laying in the bed, feeling yuck, wondering how long it would take Jared to realize the food situation, get mad at me for my poor planning, and then fuss at the kids (because he couldn't fuss at me, I was sick). In my mind, it was going to be a rough afternoon.

You would think I would know better. After he had them pick up their rooms (we get out of church early, 10:30, home by 10:40, so this was not punishment or child neglect) and the playroom, I heard Madeline making the usual "daddy's-gotta-cook" meal suggestions...pb&j, bologna sandwiches, hot dogs, microwave mac & cheese, cereal...and Jared searching through the cabinets for non-existent ingredients to any one of these. No luck. But he was still using his "patient voice", so I was impressed. No sarcastic comments about his baby's mama...so far, so good. Then I hear him say, "Well, we have crackers, let's see what else could go with them?" They found peanut butter, pepperoni, and sliced cheese. While he took these to the table, Madeline said she didn't think that looked like enough crackers for all of them. I cringed. I, already annoyed by the lack of edible food for Sunday lunch, would probably have told her she could hush and eat or keep talking and go to her room. But instead, my precious husband said, still in his patient voice, "Why don't you and Noah figure out how many crackers you need if you are each going to have 4 cracker sandwiches with a top and a bottom", and left them to their crackers. What??!! A math lesson??!! You turned Madeline's daily-required mealtime complaints into a math lesson??!!

A couple of minutes later, they'd correctly figured out that they needed a total of 24 crackers for all 3 kids to have 4 (made up of 2) crackers. Yippee! I was grinning. Next, he put the few topping choices on the table and asked them, one at a time, what they wanted on their crackers. I think I fell asleep during part of this, or just couldn't hear, I can't remember, but then I vividly remember hearing Madeline princess say, "I wonder how it would taste with peanut butter and pepperoni?" Really...with no threats. If I had even suggested peanut butter mixed with ANYTHING other than jelly, she would have gone into orbit. But it was her idea, so it worked. Jared, sounding a little surprised, made her a peanut butter-pepperoni cracker, and SHE ATE IT. Now, since it had been her suggestion, even if it had made her gag, her stubborn self would have oohed and aahed over how tasty it was. But it sounded like she did actually kind of like it. So everyone peacefully ate their gourmet saltine cracker lunch.

Then Noah asked for dessert. As if we ever eat dessert. They get snacks that are sweet sometimes, but we never eat dessert. Not that dessert could really make a meal of saltines, peanut butter, pepperoni, and cheese any LESS nutritionally sound. I figured that request was Jared's cue to send the kids away from the table to go have "quiet time" in their rooms (as is typical for Sunday afternoon after lunch). No, he played a guessing game with them to figure out what dessert would be. A guessing game. He made it fun. He made ONE oatmeal crem.e pie, split four ways (because that's all we had left), exciting because they played a guessing game. Seriously. And that's not all, folks. He made it into a fractions lesson by having Noah show him how to divide it evenly 4 ways. I kid you not. And they were more in love with him for fixing them a lunch of saltines with 1/4 of an oatmeal creme pie for dessert than if he'd bought out the toy store. Frankly, so was I.

So let me just say: I love you, Jared. Just when I think that because I am overwhelmed, you must be, too, you come through with a day like that. Lunch, math, and a cleaned up house...sometimes you are just too much. I love you and I think you've found my love language. Loving our passel of kids. You are the coolest man ever...if not cooler.