Saturday, June 9, 2012

Real Ruby

I studied the photos of Ruby on the bookshelf. I see them every day and think of her. But today I noticed the real little girl in those pictures. No, she didn't ever draw breath on this earth, but she was really here, kicking and playing, heart beating inside my body. Her body was real, as real as mine. She wore a real pink smocked dress and had 10 real fingers and 10 real toes. At the time, I thought of her as the daughter I wouldn't get to hold or rock or nurse. She was a physical presence I would not enjoy. All I wanted was to really hold her and have her really here.

Now, almost 6 yrs later, I'd almost forgotten she was dead. That sounds bizarre. I think of her daily, but always as she Really is: her Real, living, spiritual self with a new body I just haven't yet gotten to behold. I realized I haven't thought of her broken body in a very long time. 6 years ago I couldn't believe this kind of healing would ever come.

And I realize that this earthly life is just a tiny piece of my Real life, too. For much longer than 6 years, I will be my Real spiritual self with a whole, holy Real body living my whole, holy Real life. It's hard to imagine now that I won't miss this life, but God has reminded me through Ruby that this life is only a shadow of the Real life coming.

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. (2 Corinthians 5:1-9 NIV)


Valerie said...

I'm thankful for your healing. Six years of suffering is a long time. But only a mere blink to the time you will one day have with sweet Ruby. I'm SO thankful for the Real life that you are speaking of! Love you girl!

Melanie said...

I too am thankful for your healing. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing such a part of your heart.

Jeanne said...

Dear Daughter...Praise God for your healing! I think our entire family looks forward to seeing the real Ruby one day. Our precious baby granddaughter makes me look forward to heaven in a way I never did before. I love you and am so grateful to a living, "Real" God for allowing you to think of Ruby as she is...whole and real and spiritual.

I love you, my precious daughter!

Deaton, party of 5 said...

I echo both of the sentiments on here. I'm glad you've come to a place of healing and peace. Your family is so loved by so many!!!

Carla said...

How beautiful! I'm so thankful for your healing. You have such a wonderful family and you are such a true Godly mother and wife. Blessings to you!!!

Michael and Hannah said...

Beautiful words of a loving mother. Thanks for sharing this, Melanie. Ruby will forever be so loved and treasured.