Even though it seems as though my world has screeched to a halt this week, it's obvious all around me that life does go on. There's still homework to do, phonics readers to sign, flashcards to practice, a class of 18-24 month-olds who still want to "Pat the Bible", supper to fix (or at least warm up), a category 5 hurricane that, GRACIAS A DIOS, did NOT do damage at least to Tegucigalpa where my dad is right now, PTA fundraisers due tomorrow (which of course we have sold NONE), mission trips to plan, water bills to pay (barely on time), checking accounts to balance, random mission reports to translate...oh and dishwashers, washing machines and dryers that don't unload OR load themselves...
Does it sound like I'm complaining? Seriously, I'm not! (Okay, a little on the last one.) In some bizarre way, the normalcy of life is comforting at a time like this. For one thing, it all reminds me that there are other people in this world other than me. And, as hard as it is to believe, some have even worse problems than I. (Dad, I REALLY wanted to put "than me" but I couldn't--thanks!) I have 3 kids enjoying the random activities of childhood, a wonderful extended family doing wonderful things and enduring their own struggles all over the world, a precious church family, a home, good schools for my children, the means and abilities to be involved in mission work and people's lives, a husband with a job that pays bills...oh and a dishwasher, washing machine and dryer, which definitely make MY job easier!
As bizarre as it was one year ago today to sit at O.Charl.eys with my husband with my half a club and potato soup and his pecan chicken salad, me looking 6 months pregnant, both of us knowing our Ruby was dead...it was the picture of what our life would be from then on. Normal and bizarre entertwined. For the last year, it's been more bizarre and less normal. I hope that with each passing year, it begins to be a little more normal.
Me too Mel. This year has been a serious blurrr. I wish I had the energy to take deep breaths and absorb it all, but I am in a constant state of exhaustion. I haven't ran into "normal" in a long time. I find comfort that we spend the same time on Planet Bizarre!
ReplyDeleteI've been following my friend Carol's blog for a few years. They lost two infant sons a few years apart. She's shared her pain very honestly over the years. One thing I've learned...there's no such thing as "normal." And, the grief and pain that each person bears after that kidn of loss is a process that grows and changes. It's unique to each person. I'm just grateful for a loving Father who understands the loss of a child who can pick you up and hold you when you need it. If you're interested you can visit her blog from mine.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry!! I have been thinking of you guys nonstop for the last week. I told Jared I should have called, but I didn't know what to say. What a lousy excuse!! We love you guys and our hearts ache for the loss of Ruby. That day will never be forgotten by us. I alsoknow that our Father who is GOOD!!!!! He has carried you guys through this year as He carries you always.
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